some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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