Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
