The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
