I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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