it hurts more in the daytime
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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