Pappa wants mamma naked
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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