fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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