So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize