You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize