That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
