I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize