4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Im part way to drunk.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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