Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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