So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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