I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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