You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
