That's intense
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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