I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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