if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize