god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
