I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
