U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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