I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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