Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize