I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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