Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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