it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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