I must be too annoying 4 u.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
