How'd it feel making her break her religion?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
