he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize