I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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