Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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