it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
