He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
