Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
