is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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