"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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