the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
