yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
