garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
