See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
