I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
