i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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