That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Are we still banned from the library?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
