is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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