This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
