I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
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You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
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You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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