Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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