Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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