I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
