did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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