You work out of a Hotel?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
