no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
