life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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