Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
