you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize