I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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