You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
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I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
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my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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