wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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