Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
