YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
