So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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