so let's talk penis.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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