i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
